What now?

My boyfriend and I have broken up.

Being heartbroken is probably the worst pain in the world. You need to seek distractions from your harrowing state....or you will wake up with puffy eyes Like I have this morning.

Things have changed


and I hate it....


I wish I could accept them but its going to take too much time.
Everything gets in the way. I can't sleep or eat or even sit and think.

Its cliche

but its the truth.

Sleep time.

Night beckons dear child.

Kept awake by a ticking clock

and a ticking mind.

No comfort save for a self embrace,

time to sleep dear child.

May angels help your soul and

guide your whimsy dream and catch the tears that roll

roll

roll down your face.

For tomorrow is another day.

tomorrow is another day...

I've forgotten how to be myself

Rollercoaster daily

Experiencing highs brought on by revamped ways of thinking.
Now experiencing natural lows, brought on only by the self.

That's okay though, because I'm only learning more about myself. My days are changing and I am happier,but today I'm just sad because I can be. Today I choose isolation.

Although I am not sure about how to encounter tomorrow and the many days after that.

Here are some pictures I took in the garden in an inspired moment on one of my good days:





I haven't picked up the camera and taken photographs that I like in a long time. Loss of confidence. But, I don't believe I'm too bad at it actually. Anyway, I hope I experience more excellent days in the future. I'm off to bed early so I have some energy for tomorrow.

Diana x

the solitary life

Let's all be concerned about the boy with his head in his hands. The one who is thinking of dark voluminous clouds and whipping up storms around him. He isn't praying. Just thinking in circles. Implementing his temporary, make-shift solutions. His notebooks are cluttered in a manner that immitate his mind. Words, drawings, scribbles and scrawls sitting stubbornly on lined pages.
The same frustration sits in his aesthetic. Black. Grey. Black. Grey.

His partner is a Dandelion, rooted in earth. Unable to stray far. Waiting until she is plucked up, decidedly by some compassionate passer-by. Made weak by the wind. Depleting daily.

But one day, when the sun is shining. The Dandelion leaves her soily home, for a richer earth. For it is the rocks that weigh her down, that let the water of good foortunes drain from the dirt. The shadow of the boy with his head in his hands no longer present. She sits in the sun and is grateful for life.

coffee

mmmm.. frothy coffee home made.

thankyou Ikea
only $2.00 for this silver contraption. With a push of a button. It dances up a twirly storm giving you frothy milk bliss. Who needs expensive coffee machines now!

night

Illumination via computer screen.

convenience.

to reminisce.

teleportation via music.

the bass shakes, I feel it in my wrists and it travels up to my elbows.

Wondering what could have been.

Beginning to believe that there are no coincidences anymore.

It is nice to hear from you.
I will be apart of your life because you want me to.

We might never be lovers. But I am in love with the idea of knowing it will never happen.

I love thinking you could possibly want me.

That you miss me sometimes.

I remember glowing and feeling inches off the ground.

...and I miss the way you feigned a sophistication that made me envious.

the very same that frightened me away. That made me approach with trepidation.

Which made me settle for safe...

I am fine with never being sure.

Can I be fine with possible regrets.

we have all the time in the world friend. Another lifetime perhaps?

but sure lets get a coffee.