Christmas Trading

It's a Friday.

But, I have to work till about 9pm or 10 pm...I cannot remember but Christmas trading is fatiguing my body like you wouldn't believe.

surprisingly, it is my eyes that have had me dig up my glasses again. They just feel so painful, a little hard to describe the muscle soreness but whenever i tried to strain and focus on things I can feel the pain. Even 8 hours sleep won't resolve the issue.

and to continue with the whining, my ribs and lower back feel as if tiny invisble gnomes are punching them, all day...continuously. The only possible explanations for all this crazy pain is the extended retail trading, which has me standing and walking about on flat shoes and fixing my eyes on tiny price stickers and the POS screen. I haven't looked at my pay for the last fortnight but I am expecting it to be phenomenal. So, i'll be sure to buy something nice for myself. Maybe clothes and shoe shopping.

speaking of shopping, I got $50 credited to my account to spend at work as a thankyou/christmas gift which is actually really nice. Not many retail stores reward their staff and a recognition of our efforts is satisfying.

At the moment, I am trying to stomach my usual MacDonalds breakfast. I've got 4 more days of work till I get my only day off before Christmas, so routine is a little marred right now. The only thing i am exceedingly anticipating is my New years party. Which will be a 60s/Mad Men themed cocktail party! I bought this fabulous black and gold lurex dress off ebay ! A bargain at $34. I've also begun to collect all my spirits for some serious cocktail making! A little problem finding the Maraschino cherries though. So most likely i'll have to see if I can order them online as my last resort.

anywho, got to leave for work soonish. it's going to be a long night, but I resolve to have some fun at the very least :)

It's how we breathe...

Well, here is a photo I took at Bondi last week. I wanted to put it up with the post but somehow I forgot how, or was too tired to try. What a dismal excuse huh? This bird was fantastic. I'm not sure what it is exactly (so illuminate me if you know), It stood on a cliff face spreading its wings, It may have been drying its wings but I liked to imagine it was enjoying the wind and the breathtaking force of the crashing waves and sea foam...whichever, It made me feel something that day.

And speaking of feeling something, yesterday I saw a sad sight. Someone hit a bird on the road and it lay on the road and I noticed other birds of its kind gathering around and acting quite hysterical (for birds). They were making lots of noise. I know Indian Myner bird is considered a pest in Australia, but it was just really heart wrenching to see that those birds too could feel loss and despair at the sight of a their deceased and helpless comrade. It also panged to watched as they hopped out of the way after car after kept on passing over the dead bird. Loss is universal...

A day at Bondi

I've been thinking of when would be the right time to continue blogging.

Mostly, I've just been blocking myself from doing anything creative. Writing, art, photography ...you name it. In fact the extent of my creativity probably would be limited to cooking now and then or re-arranging clothing and homewares at work. I guess now would be a good as time as any to just write something! Just something...anything. I have my dear friend Cheryl to thank, because indirectly reading her blogs make me want to share again. So thankyou Cheryl!

yesterday I spent an afternoon at Bondi Beach. I rarely go to the beach, and rarer still do I dip in the ocean. On this occasion however, I went to attend the 2010 Sculptures By The Sea event. I first got to go in high school and have been a few times since, but I have to say I haven't been in about 2 years. I hoped to go with a group of my uni friends, but planning anything at the pointy end of the year where exams and assignments are rife always proves difficult. Mostly, it was my fault because I feel I could have organised the whole thing a little better. But I am glad I had an excuse to be outdoors on such a spectacular day. It also gave me an excuse to take some photographs.

Once I got there, I had some lunch at Macdonalds and then headed down to the beach. I sat on the grass to wait for a friend who said he would come. Which I am incredibly grateful for mind you. He was the only one to make the appointment and brought his sister and girlfriend along too. I'm not sure how happy they seemed to come to the beach to hike up to Tamarama and back again, but i'm sure somewhere amongst the picturesque beachiness, salty-sandy air and modern sculptures they got something nice out of it. Originally, I thought I only had to wait an hour or so, which was nice. It gave me time to find a spot on the grass overlooking the turquoise waters of Bondi Beach. The only thing that could make it better was if I could dip into the water, but I found some times to sit quietly and just observe. It was quite nice. I found it so easy to shut my eyes and just breathe. I think I meditated for some time and just listened to the noise around me: people talking, the waves, the birds, traffic...everything. It was very pleasant and very relaxing but after a while I got a bit impatient and ended up having to sit for over 2 hours before my friend got there.

The sculptures this year were not as inspiring as they had been in the past. They have somehow become very 'samey'. And it was really hard to spend some time with the sculptures because I had to move along and it was so busy that the track had begun to get congested. To be completely honest I became more fascinated with the bird I photographed on the cliff, more amused by the lone fisherman. When we got to the hill my friend had to leave, so I continued down to Tamarama and then caught the bus back to Bondi junction.

sunday night

Poesy and prose wish to capture my mind tonight.

They wish to dance with my soul, entwine my merriment and fuse it with melancholy.

Because this is how it goes. Chiaroscuro in my blood, light and shade....so I may be a brooding chirp.

Sparrow of sorrow.

A day off

I've been thinking about making a few new blogs.

This one has had its hey day, so right now I am trying to salvage it by mucking around with the layout and what not.

Well, I have some monumental news! I am about to move and I am so excited.

Yep, it finally is happening. I am really excited about living on my own. There is so so much to plan though, but I am confident in my independence and I know I'd have no choice to budget properly and work damn hard in order to live.

I'm lucky. Seriously lucky, and eternally grateful.

All the elements are just beginning to fall nicely in to place. I actually have to pick up the keys today! Unfortunately the weather is washed in bitter grey hues and a splattering of rain.

I have to study for a test I have tomorrow as well, so I am hopefully not going to let myself stress out, or procrastinate too much. As far as I am concerned, uni is just something I need to finish. It's not so much a stepping stone for a career, because everyday my ideas about what I want to do keep changing. My life is so fantastic right now, and I am given opportunities every day to get inspired and create things!

The best part about moving is that I may be able to create a space for art and making things!

I really want to make a quilt!

And nestle with some knitting. I can't wait to embrace 'me' time like a warm cup of tea!

so excited!

I promise I'll move

Oh golly gosh!

I'm terrible when it comes to essays. I should be writing one right now. It's due today as well!

But, I'm lazy and making plenty of excuses not to. There is a lot on my mind right now. Mostly useless worrying and making myself sick as I tend to do.

Yesterday I dropped off an application to rent my friend Emily's place in lieu of her. I'm crossing my fingers and toes and intestines, and am just really hoping it all works out for the best. The best being, that I am out of here.

My dad doesn't know. But I actually told him months and months ago that I was going to move and I know that he doesn't want me to. Partly, I think its because he'll miss my cooking. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He should have really learned to cook for himself by now, and the whole year and a bit that I've been here, he only cooked once and it was horrible!

I can't wait to move out, mainly because I feel really stuck here and unhappy.

If I am gone, my food won't be desecrated. My biggest pet hates are daily realities here.

• Crumbs being left in my olive spread tubs, and big nasty holes dug out of it with knives.
• Bread bags left open for the welcoming of stale slices
• My shampoo being removed from the bathroom and used to wash dishes and windows with...

I could keep going on and on, but the main problem is with failure to comprehend, space, privacy and ownership. Beyond that, he is the most utterly, selfish person I have met with an odd, inflated sense of ego: which has him printing crappy A4 calendars emblazoned with pictures of himself, collaged amongst images of Elvis and Jesus Christ.

Also, he sings.

He sings till his voice gets sore.

He records his singing, and at inappropriate hours of the night. Then he sits on his laptop all night for hours. Sometimes, I wake up at 6am, and he is still there. I know its either porn or youtube videos of himself he is watching.

I think its about time that I move. And I guarantee, I will be out this year!

No- I'll promise it.

I can't wait to just have some space to myself.

It will be super super awesome.

A little bird told me...

I have made some birdie brooches to perch on your apparel! I'll be at the Burbs Fair this Weekend at Blacktown if you would like to have a look at some crafty wares as well as do some other cool things.

Festival runs from 1-7pm, Blacktown Showground, Richmond Road.

See ya there my pretties!

Amazing Spider Skills

This a photograph of a Spider that I took in a friends garden when I was supposed to be taking headshots. I miss photography.

Early start

I woke up before the sun.

I went to bed feeling like I had given up on life, when I had only given up on yesterday.

How am I supposed to make something of today when I am so afraid?

My thoughts are so conflicting, but it is nice to know there is one side of me that is a little more helpful and encouraging. I have another essay due tomorrow. Which I definitely started last week, however made no progress. Funnily enough I awoke believing it would be super early. But it is almost 7am and incredibly dark out. But to be roused by bad dreams and worries is not the way to start a morning. Especially, now when I'll spend the whole day alone. Trying to convince myself that this task is so simple. I pray that I can overcome my concerns and apply myself. It is a simple task. I just want to complete it so I can come home in time to type the whole thing up and still get to bed around 10pm.

Day 4 of my Detox starts today. I was sloppy yesterday..not so much with the food, but with all the herbal supplements I am supposed to be taking. I at most took my multi-vitamin, digestive bitters morning and evening and my pills in the morning and one milk-thistle at lunch. But since I am up so early, I guess its my good conscience telling me to not waste time and finish the task at hand.

Moleskine Meanderings: Thursday

The guy in the middle has the following written on his torso: "I have no arms, but I'm happy!"

Moleskine Meanderings: Wednesday

Look at what I made!

A crane brooch!

buy me (the brooch) and other goodies including zines featuring my moleskine meanderings this Saturday, the 13th at Blacktown Arts Centre, CODED ZINE FAIR

Crafty Ambitions

Perhaps it takes a fact such as: "Uni resumes this week", to make one go into action mode.

Action mode is nice. All these ideas have flown into my hair and nestled quite comfortably.

A welcome change to the previous ideas which have crashed and resumed their erratic flight paths...

to get inspired I have decided to embrace my art-y talents. So here's hoping it all works out.

Tonight I'll be writing an Ode as I sip green tea...awesome.

Here are some photographs I have taken.

My old cardboard cut out of me...hanging out. I threw me out though...was taking too much space.

A new project I wanted to start, but forgot about until today. Garage sale signs. This along with thrown out furniture...or street couches, like the one in the header.

Thursday: Moleskine Meanderings

Don't worry! I haven't forgotten about you or this blog or my drawing! It just takes me a while to fall into habits and I've really enjoyed my holidaying period. Breaks from the internet are quite nice. There is so much to tell you about, however I prefer if the information to trickle slowly, like honey trying to get through the tiny holes of a button. Next week, I'm flying to Brisbane. But for today's meandering a reminder to everyone on the planet!